So, I know I haven’t written on here in a while. As you can tell from the title it’s been a loong past week. I’m in the middle of my internship and I got a call on a two fridays ago saying that my grandpa was not doing well at all and that I should probably come home. So that Saturday I did exactly that, and ended up staying home all the way until the past monday. Well, needless to say, on tuesday May 25, 2010 at 10:15 (though the paperwork says 10:45) in the morning, my grandfather – Howard Mousley Sr. – received his eternal reward. I always thought that because he’s been sick for so long that it would make his passing easier – but boy was I wrong. I’m glad that he isn’t suffering anymore, and I know he’s in a better place, I just wish I had gotten just a little bit more time with him. While driving back to my house tuesday evening with Josh, I had remembered that a few months prior while watching PopPop I had written a poem – and I wanted it read at his memorial service. So I went home, found it, brought it to my family, and had it read in the service on Thursday night.
My poem was the third one (and last one) read that night, but according to my Josh and youth pastor it was the most powerful and I’m the reason that everyone really started to cry. I always loved writing and I know that no matter what I did I would always make PopPop proud. As it was read and people were listening, I know that he was up there in heaven cheering me on and beaming with proudness. He was my best friend, we were buddies since I was in my mommy’s tummy. Inseparable, I could do absolutely no wrong in his eyes. And if you hurt me – you’d be dead in a matter of seconds.
It’s been a week and almost a half since he’s been gone, and it’s still really hard. I’m back in Doylestown working at the church and loving every minute of it. And I know that I am making him proud with every thing I am doing and every thing that I will do.
Life can throw you some hard balls. And the devil will try to knock you down at every chance that he has. And I’m still learning that. First my best friend leaves this world, then I have some issues with volunteers, and stress piling on like crazy. Bu through the devil trying to take me down, I know that I must be doing something right. I must be on the right track and something amazing is about to happen. Otherwise he wouldn’t be taking as much time and energy to try and knock me down.
I know these thoughts have been a bit jumbled around … but there’s a million things running through my mind right now. I have so much to sort out and so much I have realized in such a short amount of time. I’m really helping some of this has come as an encouragement to someone – anyone. But I’ll leave you with this – the poem that I had written for my best friend and read at his memorial service:
He lays in his bed dreaming of what used to be
No longer remembering what is real and not
Playing with his hands and living in his own world
The love of his life never leaving his side
His babies and grandbabies visit everyday
The older ones remembering how it used to be the younger can only dream
Calling for his mama – they can only dream of what he sees
Love and prayers cover like a blanket
Wiping tears from their eyes the grandbabies kiss his cheek wishing he remembered them
He looks up and gives a blank stare asking for his mama once again
As his wife stands next to his bed a tear forms in her eye
He grabs her hand, tells her he loves her
And says “Mama , I’m coming home.”
Looking around the room again
This time smiling at everyone
Gives one last squeeze to her hand
Closing his eyes says again, “Mama, I’m finally coming home.” with his final breath
Tears flowing from everyones eyes but they can only smile
Because “Mama” finally has her baby boy home.